Flathead Valley’s Annual Creston Auction
Bert Gildart: “Six-dollar, six-dollar; do I hear six? Five-dollar, five-dollar; do I hear five?
“Five-dollars, five-dollars; there! Do I hear six? Six-dollars, do I hear seven?
“Seven-dollars, seven-dollars; do I hear eight?
“Going, going, gone to the women in red for seven dollars,” beamed one of the auctioneers working the crowd that day.
AUCTIONING TONKA TRUCKS: Auctioneering is an art, no question about it. Try it yourself. See if you can spew out run-on words in a sing-song voice that might lure someone in and not drive them away. Try, too, if you’re a bidder to avoid getting caught up in an auctioneer’s hypnotic cadence…
“It takes months of practice,” said Sam Scott, one of the auctioneers at the Creston Auction located beneath the base of the Rocky Mountains in Montana’s Flathead Valley.
Sam explained that it was all about learning repetition, but that to do so effectively, he had attended a two week auctioneer school in Billings, Montana. “They have you memorizing tongue twisters.”
Big black bug bit the big black bear so the big black bear bleed bright red blood on the bathroom rug.
“Say that over and over and before long you’ll hear your voice starting to assume a rhythm…
“But then, you got to stay on top of it.
DICK WILSON: Each year for the past 41-years, professional auctioneers have plied their trade for residents at large. Sales items tend to run the gamete from kitchen ware, old wood stoves, firearms, and to items ranging in the thousands of dollars. But it’s more than just about sales; it’s about old friends buried deep in the woods, coming down to see one another. It’s about people getting dressed up in their favorite outdoor garb. It’s about vendors of all description, such as Dick Wilson.
Often dressed in blue jeans and plaid shirts, no way would you ever know that Dick was once a college professor, but today, he simply likes being known as the Nutty Professor. That’s because he makes and sells his own special blend of popcorn.
Then there’s Ken Conway, who makes beaver hats and now likes to attend the auction dressed in the garb of a trapper attending a rendezvous.
Typically, the Creston Auction runs for two days and during that time, auctioneers may generate over $100,000. “Whatever the sum of money,” said Sam, “it all goes to a great cause, helping the Creston Volunteer Fire Department.”
Still, the big attraction to me was the talent itself. Though highly capable, I learned that most auctioneers in the Flathead do other things as well. This year half a dozen different auctioneers plied their skills, but come Monday, one would be back as a control tower operator for the local airport, another at a second-hand store, yet another running his own auction. Sam. Of course, would be back at his local barber shop. However, what all share in common is that their work at the Creston Auction is donated, and that weekend their skills were drawing in the crowds.
“You can learn the basics of auctioneering in a fairly brief period,” continued Sam, “but to be really good at it you need to practice for months. I work as a barber so it took me longer. Took me almost a year, practicing to master those tongue twisters.
“Try this:
Rubber baby buggy bumper. Rubber baby buggy bumper…
“Now do it fast. Try saying it three times as fast as you can.”
Moments later Sam rose, and returned to the podium, vocal chords now rested. Within minutes the skilled auctioneer had sung the bid on a pot-bellied stove to several hundred dollars. Next he went on to a Tonka Trunk I was sure one of my grandchildren might want… The bid was up to $7, and maybe I could get one for $10.
It’s mesmerizing, simply mesmerizing, and if you stick around you’re sure to be drawn in. So now you’re forewarned…
SOME FINAL RAMBLINGS: Several weeks ago Airstream owner Roger Smith sent me a photo of an elk crossing in Canada’s Banff National Park to complement the one I posted two weeks ago. Subsequently, I learned that there are many such passes, all needed to provide elk with the basic components required for existing, namely food and shelter. Apparently, Highway 1, the Trans-Canadian highway, which passes through this park in Alberta, had been depriving these magnificent animals of these components, resulting in much vehicular damage and death to elk.
Just finished Doug Peacock’s highly acclaimed book entitled: Walking It Off. I knew Doug during the early 80s in Glacier National Park, where I worked as a seasonal ranger. Simultaneously, Doug worked as a fire lookout. Doug, a Vietnam Vet, makes a terrific case for preserving wilderness to help, among many other things, the nation’s many war veterans reconnect with the person they once were.
