Should We Pardon our Turkeys?
©Bert Gildart: Here in our somewhat rural setting in Montana, it would be easy to enjoy a turkey dinner, and I doubt anyone would be the wiser. It’s tempting; especially when several make their way onto the balcony of our porch, and then blop three feet down onto the floor of our deck. Can these large and somewhat clumsy birds fly off before I can bat one?
Silently, I inch open the sliding door that accesses our deck.
Despite the fact Ol’ Ben thought the species an intelligent one, our turkeys don’t have the smarts to flap their wings and rise above the level of the banister. Instead, as I’ve discovered (and through no malice on my part!), they race back and forth across the small deck, crashing into the railing. They add to the growing pile of evidence that proclaims , “I Tom Turkey have shat upon your porch!”
They number in the dozens and damage our feeders and leave deposits on our porch. Should we pardon them?
Given this insult it is so tempting to charge out and whack one in the head, but instead I back off. I close the door and then watch. Are they smart enough to overcome their dilemma?
Settled now, they cluck among themselves and then every single one adds yet another rude deposit to our porch. But there’s hope. A minute or two later, one bird springs onto the banister, tests its wings and then it lumbers off. Quickly, the others follow suit.
If turkeys contributed only madness to our small world, tomorrow, we’d be dining on a freshly harvested wild turkey. But they contribute more. Along with the other bird species, our 50 to 60 wild turkeys add pleasure to our lives. They have a distinct social structure. Below the deck they gather to feed on seeds other birds have dispersed from the feeder above. Elite turkeys feed first and we’re fascinated by this nuanced social behavior.
Their social structure and various antics fascinate them, so we're inclined to forgive their transgressions.
Our wild turkeys also put on displays. Fanning their tails they then elevate them so that the bird becomes an object of considerable beauty. It’s a display usually associated with territoriality and mating, but beneath our deck it’s a display that defies seasonal propriety.
Apparently, our turkeys are just happy turkeys, and today they should be, for despite the fact they’ve pried off the top of our feeder and insulted our deck, I am going to defer to presidential restraint. Today, I’m going allow every single one of these huge avian visitors to continue on with its life.
Today, no matter what they do I’m going to pardon each and every one.
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AIRSTREAM THANKSGIVING TRAVELS
*Thanksgiving in the Great Smoky Mountains
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November 28th, 2013 at 2:51 pm
Bert and Janie: In the terms of today’s world I think “pardoning” the turkeys usn’t enough. Especially since they “insulted” your deck.
I would think the very least you could do to send them a message about their behavior is to :UNFRIEND” them and really put the fear of God into them. “UNFRIENDING” would let them know that you are unhappy with their behavior. Nobody (especially turkeys) want the wrath of the social media brought down upon their pea-brained heads!